


torchwood & fantasies

by aellesiym



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Essays, Not a fanfic, Other, y'all asked for an essay here it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:26:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24005065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aellesiym/pseuds/aellesiym
Summary: Torchwood deconstructs certain fantasies such as immortality and heroism by showing how they can cause immense suffering :(
Comments: 12
Kudos: 24





	torchwood & fantasies

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway OP delivered here's an essay  
> [Original Tumblr post](https://aellesiym.tumblr.com/post/616561287171801088/torchwood-is-actually-about-taking-the-fantasies)

Through the characters of Jack Harkness and Gwen Cooper, _Torchwood_ deconstructs certain fantasies such as immortality and heroism by exploring the full depth of their resulting consequences and follows these fantasies to their logical conclusion, showing how they can cause immeasurable suffering.

Jack Harkness’ immortality is rarely portrayed as something he appreciates. At first, it is shown to be a boon, he survives a fatal gunshot, but as the show progresses, the painful consequences of his immortality become apparent. When Gwen asks “What if she never dies? … undying forever, just you and her,” Jack replies with “I wouldn’t wish that on her. I’d sooner kill her now.” His experience with immortality has taught him that it is not a gift but rather a curse, evident through his relationship with Angelo Colasanto.

He becomes one of the few people that Jack trusts, and he goes so far to say “I came back, Angelo. I came back for you. Believe me, I have never done that before”. Their reunion is short-lived, however; Angelo is unable to believe that Jack survived their parting circumstances without something more, and he stabs Jack to test out his suspicion. Angelo tells him “I don’t know what you are,” and is unable to accept his answer of “I’m Jack,” – because he is not, anymore, not to Angelo; he is “the devil” or a “blessing”; he is not Jack, he is his immortality. Angelo is unable to reconcile this newfound piece of information with the man Jack is, divorcing Jack’s humanity from his immortality even though the two are intrinsically intertwined. He represents the fear of the unfamiliar, the need to study and understand unknown quantities at any cost; Jack’s pain is of no concern to him, not when he is no longer seen as human, and so, Angelo becomes obsessed with his immortality, “devot[ing] the rest of his life to finding out how to live forever.” And as soon as Jack realises this, he leaves, his parting words heart-breaking: “this is the story of my life. It always ends the same way. You kill me. Men like you, you kill me.” In addition to the literal, Angelo also kills him in the figurative sense – Jack has become a symbol to Angelo, an obsession to strive for, pared down to his immortality, any notion of his humanity destroyed.

The totality of Jack’s pain is apparent when Gwen unwittingly discovers his immortality; she says, “Owen and Toshiko, you didn’t tell them you were shot in the head and survived,” to which Jack says, “Well, it kind of freaks people out, so, best if you don't say anything.” He refuses to disclose this to his team – the people he trusts and cares about the most – showing how incredibly apprehensive he is of discovery.

In stark contrast to Angelo Colasanto is Ianto Jones, who becomes the light in Jack’s life. By the twenty-first century, Jack is emotionally closed off; he is unwilling to let people into his life as he knows he will inevitably lose them. Yet, with Ianto, he lets himself love again – Ianto is the first to take care of him, to recognise that his immortality does not make him immune to pain. Jack lets himself be vulnerable to Ianto; when Ianto says “I know you get lonely,” he answers honestly with, “Going home wouldn't fix that. Being here, I've seen things I never dreamt I'd see. Loved people I never would have known if I'd just stayed where I was. And I wouldn't change that for the world.” However, their growing relationship is invariably underscored by sorrow – eventually, Ianto will die and Jack cannot, something that Ianto is acutely aware of:

> But let's be honest, Jack, I'm nothing more than a blip in time for you. Every day I grow a little older, but you're immortal. You've already lived a thousand lifetimes. How could you watch me grow old and die? How can I watch you live and never age a day? I suppose we both know that will never be a problem, not in this job. No one in Torchwood ever lives to draw their pension, do they? 

But their short time together is beautiful, reminding Jack that part of being human is to love and be loved, that he is not defined by his immortality nor his role at Torchwood, that despite all his flaws and the terrible choices he has made Ianto will love him. And although it is Ianto who says, “Coming here. It gave me meaning again. You,” the same is true for Jack – Ianto brings meaning into his life. Jack realises, “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you,” – despite all the people he has lost in his long, long life, losing Ianto is unthinkable, to the point where he is willing to sacrifice the world for a few more years with him:

> 456: You said you would fight.
> 
> JACK: Then I take it back, all right? I take it all back. But not him!

And this is the curse of Jack’s immortality – he is forced to “just keep going” for eternity, alone, with only memories for company. Once, Gwen asks him, “What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” Jack says “I saw a firebird once. A tiny little thing, even smaller than a hummingbird. Literally made of fire. It only lives for a minute. It blazes different colours and sings. It gets so bright you have to close your eyes. And when you open them, it's gone,” describing the ephemerality of those he loves – fleeting, but wondrous. But it is never enough; Jack seeks out Ianto one last time, willing to give up his existence for him:

> IANTO: You're not planning on coming back, are you?
> 
> JACK: No. It'll be a pretty big bang.
> 
> IANTO: You can't die.
> 
> JACK: Next best thing. Eternal oblivion, lost in the space between worlds forever - and come on, it's quite a way to go. Huh! I think I'd lived long enough. I've seen you once more, what else is there?

To Jack, immortality is not worth the unending cycle of love and loss, of losing everything he has ever cared about, again and again. He has become trapped by his immortality; “the whole world is like a graveyard,” his pain constant and all-pervading.

By leaving her job as a police officer and joining Torchwood, Gwen Cooper discovers the true cost of heroism. She stumbles upon the institute during a murder investigation and decides to look into the further, meeting Jack. Although her life thus far has been fairly satisfying, she has a stable job, a loving boyfriend, she wants to be a part of something greater. She becomes enamoured with the idea of Torchwood, going so far to request a job with them, saying “we could liaise on this. The serial killer. I could be like your liaison with the police,” and she sees Jack as a hero, a charismatic leader who works behind the scenes to protect Cardiff. At the end of the episode, she achieves this dream: Jack offers her a job, but it turns out to be much more than what she bargained for.

Her first warning sign comes before she even gets the job, in the form of Suzie Costello. A member of Torchwood turned murderer, she says, “What am I going to do? I loved this job. I really loved it. And now I've got to run. Oh, Christ. How can you do any other job after this one? Cos it gets inside you,” and Gwen soon realises the extent of this truth. Jack is not the hero she originally imagines, nor is he particularly forthcoming. He is constantly forced to make decisions that have no morally correct answer [more on that at the end], and no matter what he chooses he leaves great suffering in his wake. The human cost is immense, and the intense grief and trauma that Gwen and the rest of the team is exposed to affects her dearly. She says that “I had a good job before this. I thought in a year or two, perhaps a baby. I know Rhys would be a good dad and I could try for Desk Sergeant and well, it was all slotting into place. And then I met you lot. All these things all these things, they're changing me. Changing how I see the world. And I can't share them with anyone,” paralleling Suzie’s own journey with Torchwood; Suzie admits to destroying a man’s life because, “I just, I wanted someone to talk to. About this place. It was driving me mad. And he was just. He listened, that's all. He just listened,” eventually overdosing him on amnesia pills. And Gwen starts slipping, too, giving her boyfriend an amnesia pill, but she realises in time, after: “I'm not doing it. I won't drug him.”

Jack is not much help, either; although not by choice, he disappears without explanation, and the team is forced to hold it together by themselves. When he returns, he says, “Got pretty organised without me,” and Gwen replies with “Yeah, well we had to”. By now, her dynamic with Jack is far from the hero reverence she once had for him, she realises that he is as human as the rest of them are and perhaps the most broken. Early on, Jack tells her to “Go home, Gwen Cooper. Eat lasagne, kiss your boyfriend, be normal. For me,” because he recognises that her life is about to change, completely; he has been at this job long enough to know that it is not worth it to give up her entire life. But inevitably, the job does consume her:

> GWEN: I knew Torchwood was toxic right from the moment I joined up, the very first day, but I stayed. Do you know what the worst thing is of all? Out of all the shit we have seen, all the bloodshed, all the horror, do you know what is worse than all of that? I loved it. I bloody loved it. And I'd keep telling Rhys I was sorry, and I'd say to little Anwen I'm sorry, but I loved it so much. I knew things no one else knew and, oh, I felt so special. And when we lost people, it was so, so big and I could say it was worth it. Because the bigger it was, the more important I was. And the more people we lost, the more that meant I was a survivor and I was better than them.

Joining Torchwood and playing the hero meant losing everything else, her family and friends, an ordinary life; “you know the way it works, Jack. Every time anyone ever gets close to you, nobody has a normal life again.” Suzie was right: “Yeah, you did warn me right at the beginning. He said, this is the one job you can never quit.” Gwen joins Torchwood with hope and leaves absolutely broken; she loses the rest of her team – Toshiko and Owen and Ianto, and once Ianto dies Jack also leaves, running away.

> GWEN: Are you ever coming back, Jack?
> 
> JACK: What for?
> 
> GWEN: Me.
> 
> GWEN: They died, and I am sorry, Jack, but you cannot just run away. You cannot run away.
> 
> JACK: Oh yes, I can. Just watch me.

Gwen is left with nothing of her life in Torchwood; she loses the family and purpose she finds within the institute. She wanted more in her life and she received exactly that, but at the cost of her entire world.

Jack is broken by his immortality and Gwen is broken by Torchwood, unable to save themselves from their extraordinary circumstances. And herein lies the philosophy of _Torchwood_ – even the most ordinary life is important and should be cherished, and that it is wonderful without needing to be something more. The show says it best: “The average life is full of near misses and absolute hits, of great love and small disasters … It's dead ordinary, and truly, truly amazing.”

* * *

**Some notes:**

_Jack & moral ambiguity/painful decisions: A whole ‘nother essay (I don’t really know where I’m going with this)_

  * He has the ability to make and execute decisions for the greater good of the world; he sees himself and his organization as a figure of protection

  * His position of power in addition to his immortality leads him to place the weight of the world on his shoulders, believing that he is the only one who can make the terrible decisions because he is not bound by the constraints of society nor death

    * He also doesn’t want to subject the people he cares about to those terrible decisions, so he puts it on himself to do so
  * When Jack confronts Lisa, he says, “But now you're starting to hurt my friends. This is going to stop,” showing his limits: he is unwilling to let others hurt the ones he cares about, but he can live with his friends hating him if it means they are safe. The decisions Jack must make lead to conflict between himself and the people he loves the most, alienating him from those that would most understand his plight. “What else could I do?” he asks, after _Small Worlds_

  * Jack is essentially the hero of the story, but it goes to show that his actions also bring about a great deal of suffering




* * *

_Other parallels that I couldn’t find a way to work in_

> JACK: If you've got forever, you don't notice the flecks on the concrete or bother to touch the bricks. And you send your friends into danger, knowing the stakes aren't the same for you, that you might get them killed while you walk away unscathed. (Dead Man Walking)
> 
> GWEN: It wasn't your fault.
> 
> JACK: I think it was. GWEN: No.
> 
> JACK: Steven and Ianto and Owen and Tosh and Suzie and all of them, because of me.
> 
> GWEN: But you saved us. Didn't you?
> 
> JACK: I began to like it. And look what I became. Still, I have lived so many lives. It's time to find another one. (CoE: Day 5)

* * *

> “Being here, I've seen things I never dreamt I'd see.” (To The Last Man)

> “I saw a firebird once. A tiny little thing, even smaller than a hummingbird. Literally made of fire. It only lives for a minute. It blazes different colours and sings. It gets so bright you have to close your eyes. And when you open them, it's gone. But the image stays behind your eyelids for longer than it was alive” (Immortal Sins)

* * *

> “And I wouldn't change that for the world.” (To The Last Man)

> “Then I take it back, all right? I take it all back. But not him!” (CoE: Day 4)

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, i'd really love to hear your thoughts/opinions! my askbox is always open on tumblr @[aellesiym](https://aellesiym.tumblr.com/)


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